Bank of England Vet’s 48-28 UCSOB Vet’s

UCSVOB ran out for our first competitive fixture on Saturday, against Bank of England in the Middlesex Vets Cup. Although we weren’t able to return from Roehampton with a victory, we did the club proud with a swashbuckling display, true to the values of Vets rugby.

So, how can a performance to be proud of, with lots of champagne rugby (rizzle dizzle, as the Kiwis call it) result in such a convincing defeat? Well, the main problem was the opposition pack, who were considerably heavier than the French “heaviest ever” who took the field at Twickenham later in the day, weighing in at more than a tonne! That bulk, combined with the astute boot of their 10, meant it was very hard for UCS to get our hands on the ball.

The game started evenly. They scored first, after being camped in our half for 10 minutes, but we soon levelled with a very pretty try, started when Mark “Sparky” Alden took a 22 dropout quickly, caught the ricochet from the attempted charge down with panache, then moved the ball all the way across the field through 3 or 4 sets of hands for Chris Pope to touch down in the opposite corner.

After half time, the long periods of sustained defence began to tell, as UCS defence became more ragged with fatigue, and BoE’s smart play continued to maximise their assets. Truth be told, a savvier kicking dame could have been the difference for us, but we had non-specialists doing a valiant job at 9 & 10, which made that harder. Anyway, who kicks all day in Vets rugby? Dicks, that’s who.

Speaking of dicks with kicks, Paul Dillon had an excellent game all round despite having a badly swollen knee even before the game, and kicked all our conversions without fail including for our 4th and final score (a great opportunistic second from Alistair Smith, doubling his lifetime try tally). The knee was even bigger after the game, and Dill’s explanation that he must have aggravated it was met with a merry chorus of quips about how aggravated his belly must be…

There were a number of stand out performances, including Bennie Nze, who was energetic in taking the fight to BoE from the start, and Wayne Earle, who was huge throughout. Man of the Match goes to debutant Scott Levy, who hadn’t played rugby for 4yrs, but was an impressive force in attack and defence from 8. He has professed his keenness to play more (and also to tour!) in stark contrast to his daughter’s comment when I told her how good he’d been: “Yay! Just don’t make daddy do that again.”

For every MoM, there is of course a DotD, and that dubious honour falls to Adam McAteer. He could have won the award for any one of:

– turning up 90mins late (after kick off)

– declaring he should take over kicking duties after coming on, only to put his first three kick offs a) straight into touch, b) not 10 and c) right into the (female) ref at point blank range
– having to pull over his car on the way home to vomit.

Well done, Adam.

Speaking of the female ref, special mention to Richard “Shagger” Thorpe for his quick thinking after spilling an up-and-under: it took impressive presence of mind to gather the ball and run on while shouting “it went backwards” in a falsetto voice, even if neither the ref nor the oppo fell for it.

All in all, a good day out and a performance we can be proud of. There’ll be another Vets fixture in March where we will look to get back to winning ways.